Saturday, 11 January 2014

About gingerbread men and balls

Posted by Jenny
 “Mahmah! The gingerbread man does poos!”
I blinked a few times at the perky blond head with big blue eyes. In my defence, I was about to have the first sip of my first coffee of the day and have only been dragged out of bed minutes before that.
“What babe?”
“The gingerbread man does poos.”
“No he doesn’t.”
“Yes he does.”
“No he doesn’t.” One sip of coffee doesn’t have much of an impact on me.
“Yes he does. I saw him!” Clearly confident she won that argument, my youngest prances off undoubtedly gloating in my defeat. I have another sip of my coffee while Shrek continues to try and save Fiona on the telly. At least it clarifies my daughter’s reflections on the gingerbread man’s toileting abilities. I can’t remember there being a scene on bowel motions though.

A second cup of coffee later I simply have to ask her “Why do you think that the gingerbread man does poos?”
She looks at me as if I’m being very silly. “Because he talks.”
“He does poos because he talks?”
“Yes. And they’re pink.”
“Yes, the gingerbread man does pink poos.” She all but rolls her eyes.

I suppose there is no reason why the gingerbread man can’t do pink poos, but I definitely don’t remember a scene in Shrek on pink bowel motions. I know better than to start a discussion on this. I have learned to pick my battles.

Another example of my parenting abilities… well, let me wow you.
“Mahmah! I want a sweetie!”
“What’s the magic word?”
“Please what?”
“Can I have a sweetie please?”
“No.” – see what I mean?
“WHHAAAAHHH!!!” noise. More to the point, preventable noise.
“It’s nearly dinner time, you have to wait until after dinner time.” As if the voice of reason would work now. At least I tried…. Too little too late.
“WHAAAAAHH!!!” more noise. Then… “Mahmah! I’m going to kick you in the balls!”
My mouth literally fell open as I turned around to my youngest. And now for my reaction…..
“I’m going to kick you in the balls!”

Prime parenting! Perhaps I was having an off day…..  whatever. She started giggling. The noise stopped. Peace returned. Sort of.   

Ah well. Two of them are now sitting under the table as I try to write this while zipping my boots open and making jungle sounds! If you can’t beat them, join them, I suppose. Let me just sign off by saying that I’m very interested in reading publications by new fantasy writers and review them in this blog (smiley face). Excuse me, I have a few monkeys to chase!